Update about many a thing

So, its been a while since I updated my actual blog, so here's an update as to whats going on with me in the land of SA. I should be sleeping right now as I have work at 7 but meh, sleep will come later.

I passed my subject "Issues in youth ministry" from last semester, and am now in the process of doing 3 more. Communication skills, ministry of youth work and creative living. Communication skills I think will be the most beneficial one both in and out of the course, the intended profession and in my personal life. I think that I'm becoming a better active listener, as well as learning how to express myself better. Express, not articulate. Yes, there's a difference, and we all know how I am with articulating myself.

I'm also on one of the local community radio stations doing a youth show with about 4 others. Look in my facebook groups for Struth5EFM and you'll fond out about it :)

Update on the victor youth center drop in thing as well. We now have finally had a proposal written for a youth center and the need for one in victor. Only what? 11 years and not one been done till now? Better now then never though. So we shall see how that is received by the government and as to if they want to fund it, and give us land etc.

What else has been going on? Just trying to think about it. Oh, new car since I last updated this. Mistubishi colt, manual again, yay!  View photos here. What else has been going on? I don't think much else has been. If I think of anything else then I'll try to remember to post it here.

Posted on 26 Feb 2009 by Taen

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Random quotes

"Since you ask,
most days I cannot remember,
I walk in my clothing unmarked by that voyage
Then the almost unnameable lust returns"
- Anne Sexton

"Drowning in the dark blood of would be brothers who,
beyond the pressing of fingers,
those for whom the slice is only the beginning,
and a different kind of light comes in,
bego recognition and peace of mind"
- Judy Bats

You can be whatever type of person you choose to be.
Your habits, behaviours, your responses, are all your own choice.

"Even though He's the one who did this to you, never thought to question why"
- A Perfect Circle, "Judith"

"And how you've repaid me, denied me and betrayed me."
- Phantom - Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Phantom of the Opera"

"Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar! And you'll live as you've never lived before"
- Phantom - Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Phantom of the Opera"

Posted on 06 Jan 2009 by Taen

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NZ Quotes

I cannot dare to skate out onto that thin black ice, knowing the seething fires inside will only further weaken it, plunging me into numbing icy cold depths.

"Down inside your crying,
I see it hidden deep
Far beyond the smiles,
You fall and then you weep

Outside you only smile
I notice everyday
Happy on the outside
But inside you just decay"
- Answered life, hey btch

"Taste from your hidden desire,
Drink from this cup of longing"
- Knock Knock

"This poor lost soul
Has been tortured and damaged
Broken and is in pieces
I stare at her
To study who she is
After a while
I recognise her
This little lost soul
...... is me!"
-Lost soul - Hidden black butterfly.

Posted on 06 Jan 2009 by Taen

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Good ol latin

Quod me nutruit me destruit

(That which nourishes me also destroys me)

Pereant inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerant

(All things considered, insanity seems to be the best alternative)

Ordo ab chaos

(Order out of chaos)

Quos de us volt per de re prius dementet

(Those whom a God wishes to punish, He drives mad first)

Quieta non movere

Posted on 06 Jan 2009 by Taen

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Aristides - Plutarch

We did not come here to quarrel with our allies, but to fight our enemies, not to boast about our ancestors, but to show our courage"

Posted on 06 Jan 2009 by Taen

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They keep our spirit alive, they move us forward in life with hope, wonder and promise.

Posted on 06 Jan 2009 by Taen

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Perpetual student?

So, I got into my one subject for this semester, have orientation next week and find out when I start.

In other news did a mental health first aid workshop over the last couple of days, highly interesting course and would recommend it to anyone interested. It's by no means an easy subject to digest, but still one that fascinates me. Cost me $90 but not sure how much it would generally cost.

And thats about the total of my news atm.

Posted on 19 Jul 2008 by Taen

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Self injury

I've had this topic come up a lot again recently for various different reasons and I'm feeling drawn to talk about it but not in this sense.

I feel as though I'm supposed to talk about this in a church setting, and so on starting to get that prepared I came across something interesting, to me at least.

Cutting: 72 percent
Burning: 35 percent
Self-hitting: 30 percent
Interference w/wound healing: 22 percent
Hair pulling: 10 percent
Bone breaking: 8 percent
Multiple methods: 78 percent (included in above)
These statistics may be a little outdated (the last time the site was updated was around 2002), however to me they're still interesting. I always figured that cutting and burning would be the main forms of self harm but never really thought that self-hitting would be so close behind. Cutting and burning are the main ones we hear about.

The rate of self injury, or the awareness of it at least is becoming more prevalent in today's society, which is a good thing for me.. the awareness that is, not the fact of people doing it.

I'll be honest, I'm scared talking about this infront of my entire church, though it's even yet to be organised for me to do so, but God will give me the opportunity I'm sure. It's a hard topic for me to talk about still as it's something you hold so close and keep guarded to the best of your abilities, and then to feel as though your to talk to... who knows how many people... about it openly, is quite a confronting thought. I think a whole 3 or 4 people in the church apart from myself know that I did this.

I was at a workshop recently with Suz, my youth pastor, and there I was in a room full of professionals, or people studying to be professionals in the youth work or mental health areas. I managed to just not burst out into a blubbering mess, which I had the week or 2 before that, at another church where a 22 year old had got up and talked about her struggle with self injury. Through the workshop and trying not to turn intto a blubbering mess however it was highly interesting to have someone talk openly about their journey and what they think would have helped them and what wouldn't have at certain points throughout their journey.

I think a lot of people don't realise that self harm is just a symptom of other issuees that need to be dealt with and once those issues are dealt with, the self harming behaviours may subside or be eassier to discuss and help give alternatives when they need to cope with a strenuous and stressful situation.

I'm now just rambling and good on you if you have got this far with this post as I'm sure most of it doesn't make sense.
Posted on 14 Jul 2008 by Taen

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eeePc and tabor

YAY! I have been wanting a eeePc for ages and I finally got myself a black 901 xp one. It's great, taking me a little while to get used to the keyboard, but it's all so small and compact.:D I think I'm in love.

Also have an interview for Tabor on wed and another workshop on thur and fri. So hopefully after that I should know if I've been accepted into the course or not, but it's all looking positive thus far.

Posted on 12 Jul 2008 by Taen

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Self Injury

I do not seek to mutilate

I do not seek to scar my body

I only seek to make my mental and emotional pain real.

If this means that I injure myself, so be it.

I do not seek the attention this causes

I seek to hide away from the attention my scars get

I seek to hide my scars

They only remind me of my past,

My weaknesses, failures and wrong doings

The scars remind me of the pain, guilt and shame

I have felt many times.

I seek to forget the past, the pain, everything.

I do not seek the questions that are asked of my scared body.

I wish to hide away from these questions,

They make me feel ashamed and the guilt returns when they are asked

I wish to hide away my horribly marked skin

It was not my intention to scar it so.

I do not know "why?" for sure

I can only seek to understand it better

And on so many different levels.

I do not seek your understanding

I in fact hope that you do not understand the pain, guilt and shame

If you do, I am truely sorry that you have had those experiences

I do not seek for you to have the same addiction.

Self - injury is like a drug,

It's my addiction.

I'm trying to beat it, and I find it hard.

I still get the urges everynight, but only some do I  give in to it.

I hope that you never have to find out how hard it is to beat this addiction.

I only seek your awareness

Not of my doing such a thing,

But that it is something that happens,

It is something that many do.

Your awareness of what this really is,

And why it occurs,

That is all I seek

Posted on 30 Jun 2008 by Taen

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Study among many other things

So, haven't updated for a while, while I'm trying to think of how to do something, I'll procrastinate and update you all.

The youth space is going well, we may have a venue for it, hopefully find out Tuesday about that. I'm doing so many other things atm as well as trying to get this set up, but thankfully it isn't taking up too much time.

Now for the fun part. I'm making applications to study one subject at Tabor from the youth work course thing. Have also registered to do their youth work "Conversations" workshops, well, the ones that interest me anyway.

The application to study is almost ready to send in... just a few more things and then will send it off, needs to be there by the end of next week...

So, that's my update thus far, hope everyone is well. :)

Posted on 19 Jun 2008 by Taen

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If you read my previous post you will know that I'm trying to get a youth cafe running here. The past week has been a great success for this, I've met with several people about it and they are highly supportive and encouraging, and I've finally got in contact with the person I need to at the council.

I can just feel that this is what God wants me to do, He's given me the resources I've needed thus far and has given me a real passion for it. In some ways it seems a little too easy so far, but I'm sure the challenges will come. It's all just so exciting for me at the moment!

There's still a long long way to go, but seeing the progress I've made in the last week, and meeting the people I have is just so encouraging!

Posted on 29 Apr 2008 by Taen

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So I finally decided to buy myself a wii... yes, a console. I don't have many games yet but have wii sports and wii play to begin with.. We'll get to the harder games once these are mastered, or at least I'm doing better with them then I  am now. Mario Kart Wii came out today... and I wants it.. maybe next week. This is my exciting update.

Also, as some may already know, I'm trying to get something similar to manaaki set up here, I've had a couple of meetings about it this week and they have been encouraging and supportive.

Posted on 24 Apr 2008 by Taen

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Fresh Start

So, because of the hack I get to start fresh. I have no backups of before the hack so everything before then is lost. Sorry guys!

Posted on 09 Apr 2008 by Taen

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